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Why do I do things that make me miserable? Why do I so often find misery… Comforting?


Welcome to my new blog… The Hog Chronicles. What’s this blog about? Whatever the fuck I want. This is where I’m going to write, be raw, vent, think out loud, and share my thoughts with you. There’s no schedule, I’ll write when I’m compelled. There’s no specific mission or set of topics here… This is just me thinking and talking about my experiences in life. The purpose? Maybe somewhere in the fuckery that will be this blog, something will speak to or resonate with someone. This is where I’ll write to grow, to think, and I invite you to join me!! I want this to be raw, no edits, rereading or rewriting… Reader discretion is obviously and absolutely fucking advised :))


So!! Punching myself in the dick. First question: Why do we do things that make us miserable? Fuck science, I don’t science. I simply analyze myself and what I see around me. Why do we do things that make us miserable? The answer is simple I think… We are stupid… And lazy. Stupid and lazy WOO!! One thing I did a long time ago was I stopped giving the human species more credit than it deserves. Sure, we have highly evolved brains but compared to what? A bird? That don’t mean much. We’re animals that base a lot of what we do on impulse, pleasure, gratification… Shit like that. We do things that make us miserable because they bring us pleasure in the short term annnd it is reeeally fucking hard to consider long term shit.


Take errr a relationship… I’m like a Viking, I like shiny things. In this reference, shiny things are tits. I have always struggled with being faithful. I’ve rationalized it several different ways. “Oh I don’t believe in monogamy.” “#YOLO”… Shit like that. But rationalizations are never true. They’re just lies we tell ourselves so we don’t feel like assholes WHILE we’re being assholes. It’s difficult to consider the long term fulfillment and happiness of a relationship when I’m being eye fucked by a nice big set of tits. In the past, I chose to chase the shiny things. I’ve lied and cheated, broken hearts… To include my own. I have made myself miserable by my behavior and only recently have I said, “Ok fuckboy… Fucking stop!!” I want long term happiness, love, a family. Chasing every pair of tits that looks me in the cock isn’t going to make me happy… In the end. Ahh the end. That’s the point to this whole mess… The end. What do we truly want in the end? Oy!! If you want to chase shiny things your whole life, go for it… But I highly doubt that’s what anybody TRULY wants. We have to SOMEHOW remember the end. It’s not easy, it takes awareness, fortitude, and practice. Behavioral change is a mother fucker…


I transgress in other ways. Here’s a secret… I fucking hate that I’m addicted to chewing tobacco. I’ve been chewing tobacco since I was 18. That’s 12 years now. At this point it’s as much a part of my identity as errr my left nut being bigger than my right. With tobacco use there’s always that storm on the horizon… Hurricane Cancer. I know chewing tobacco is horrible for my health. I know it every time I pack a delicious hammer. Not only does it make me feel like a man, it reminds me of my soldiering days. Those are my rationalizations, “Fuckin’ men chew tobacco **Pounds chest**” Another lie I’ve convinced myself of so that I can continue doing things that ultimately make me hate myself.


We do things that make us miserable and the lack of control makes us even more miserable. After a certain point… Misery is like a warm blanket or mouth wrapped around our mental cocks. It’s… Comforting. Staying the same is easy. Changing is hard. We are stupid and lazy. I guess that’s why someone said, “Nothing worth having comes easy.” I believe that applies to fucking happiness in general. Happiness is a lifelong pursuit. We can go where the wind takes us and be all the more miserable for it, sitting around incessantly punching ourselves in the dicks OR… We can work hard. Work hard on ourselves.


I have my list of vices and I’m going to work on them. My dick can’t take many more punches. I’m too old, it’s all bruised up. Time for some healing… haha oops random Derek moment here #LessPunchingMoreStroking … Where was I… I have my vices and I’m absolutely certain you have yours. Maybe you drink too much, are unfaithful, do drugs, over eat, eat shit, don’t exercise, waste money, don’t work… Whatever. You’re more than likely STUCK somewhere about something. It’s common to hear, “People can’t change.” That’s not true. We CAN change it’s just really fucking challenging… But we’ll be all the more happier in the end. I think if there’s key words or ideas here it’s “Happiness in the end…”


While walking down my path of life, I have to stop pulling off to the side of the road to fuck with the shiny things for a bit. Just keep my eyes looking and feet moving forward. Change.

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